Bakura Versus the Soup
by Kiwi Smoothy
Summary: A funny little one-shot about what would happen if Ryou got a cold and Bakura had to take care of him. No yaoi, I promise!


Here is the promised one-shot! I came up with the idea for this story when I actually _did_ have a cold a couple weeks ago. It's just a funny little thing about what would happen if Ryou got a cold. There's no yaoi in case you're wondering.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Asprin or Chicken and stars soup.  
  
Bakura Versus the Soup  
  
Bakura woke up to the sound of someone sneezing and blowing their nose. Irritated at the early hour of his awakening, he walked down the hall to Ryou's room to what was happening.  
Ryou was sitting on his bed looking absolutely miserable. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, with horrible dark circles around them that stood out dramatically against his paler than normal skin. His nose was already beginning to turn red and raw-looking from the rough tissues. Speaking of tissues, Ryou had a box of them in his hand. Though it was pretty close to full, it was quickly moving towards empty as the trash can on the floor by his bed moved just as quickly towards full. All in all, Bakura thought the only good word to describe the scene was...'gross'.  
"What's wrong with you?" Bakura finally asked, after getting over his shock.  
Ryou jumped and looked up quickly. He hadn't heard Bakura come in over the noise of his sneezing. Seeing the look on Bakura's face made Ryou start laughing, which was a big mistake since he was immediately sent into a horrible coughing fit.  
After about a minute of listening to Ryou's hacking, Bakura rolled his eyes and went into the bathroom to get him some water. When he returned Ryou grabbed the cup and drank greedily.  
"Better?" Bakura asked.  
Ryou nodded and said, "Dank you."  
Bakura cocked his head to one side upon hearing the strange way Ryou was talking. Almost like someone was holding his nose. "What's wrong?" he asked again.  
"I dink I hab a code," Ryou replied, then sneezed and blew his nose again as if to accentuate his answer.  
"You what?" Bakura thought he heard something about a code, but he wasn't sure what that had to do with his hikari's condition.  
"A code! I hab a code!" Ryou said, becoming increasingly more exasperated. Then he had an idea. /I have a cold,/ he informed Bakura through their mind-link. Who says telepathy doesn't have it's advantages? Even if it _did_ cause his head to pound today.  
"Oh!" Bakura's face lit up with understanding. Then, "What's a cold?"  
Ryou sighed and tried to explain. "A code is jusd an ildess," he hoped that was sufficient, he was starting to get _quite_ a headache and wasn't in the mood to explain anything.  
Beginning to understand the strange way of speaking, Bakura was able to figure out what Ryou said. "I see. How do you fix a cold?"  
Now knowing Bakura wouldn't let him be miserable in peace, Ryou resigned himself to his fate. "Umb, well, you bostly sday layig dowd while drinkig lods of wader ad orange juice. Oh, ad you take Asprid. LOTS of Asprid," he finished, hoping his yami would catch the hint. He didn't.  
Bakura frowned as if trying to come to a decision, then asked suddenly, "Where would you rather stay, here or the living room?"  
Ryou almost started coughing again. "Whad?"  
"You said you had to stay laying down right?" Bakura asked, getting annoyed again. "So do you want to stay in here or do you want to go lay on the couch?"  
Barely believing what he was hearing, Ryou answered hesitantly, "Livig roomb, I guess..."  
"So let's go!" Bakura exclaimed, grabbing a blanket from the end of Ryou's bed and waiting for Ryou to get up and follow him.  
After sitting for a few seconds wondering what to do, Ryou decided that it would be best for whatever health he had left to do what his yami said. The moment he stood up though, he started to stumble dizzily. Noticing this, Bakura quickly grabbed his shoulder to steady him. "Bagura, I'b fide," Ryou assured him.  
"No, you were going to fall over," he replied, tossing Ryou over his shoulder.  
"Really, I'b ok!" Ryou almost pleaded as Bakura carried him into the living room. When Bakura didn't answer, he thought, 'I'm doomed.'  
Once in the living room, Bakura dumped Ryou unceremoniously onto the couch, dropping the blanket on his head.  
"Oof," was all Ryou managed to say as he tried to untangle himself.  
"Ok, now what?" Bakura asked once Ryou had become relatively comfortable on the couch.  
"Well, somb wader would be dice, and I deed by tissues," Ryou said, taking advantage of Bakura's question. Then he remembered something. "Ad I would _really_ like somb Asprid."  
Bakura made a face but went to get the listed items for Ryou anyway.  
While Bakura was gone Ryou sat on the couch, a smirk creeping onto his face. 'This might not be so bad after all.' He quickly erased the smirk when Bakura came stomping back in.  
"Is that all?" he asked after dropping the tissues and Asprin in Ryou's lap and putting the glass of water on the table in front of the couch.  
"Well, I would lige to watch somb T.V." Ryou said hopefully, hitting Bakura with a dose of his patent puppy dog eyes.  
Bakura frowned, "If you have a headache I don't think you should be watching T.V."  
"Oh Baguraaaa!" Ryou whined, increasing the intensity of his stare.  
Bakura finally caved, "Aah! Fine! Just stop looking at me like that, it's creepy!" He then tossed Ryou the remote and stomped out of the room.  
  
***  
  
At about 11:30 Ryou began to get hungry. He had been flipping aimlessly through the channels for a few hours now and was extremely bored, so he turned off the T.V. and got up to make lunch.  
He tried to be quiet because this was one thing he definitely didn't want his yami to do for him. The fire station already had a constant watch on their house. Unfortunately, Bakura had other plans. Without warning, he walked up behind Ryou and grabbed the pot out of his hand while asking, "What are you doing?"  
This scared Ryou so badly that he dropped the can of Chicken and Stars soup he had been holding onto his own foot. "OW! BAGURA! Why the hell did you do thad?!?"  
"Because you shouldn't be cooking. Out!" and with that, Bakura shoved Ryou back into the living room.  
'How does this work again?' Bakura wondered to himself as he eyed the now dented can of soup suspiciously. All he knew was that it involved fire, a weird device with two handles, and a pot. Other than that.clueless.  
'I definitely can't ask Ryou for help,' he thought as he searched for the double handled object. Finally finding it, he studied it carefully. 'Maybe you use it to break the can?' he mused, then took an experimental swing at the can. The soup flew across the room and hit the wall on the other side. After retrieving it, Bakura noted that the abused object was now twice as dented, but not open. Then an idea struck him.  
Ryou cringed and hid his head under the blanket when the first crashing sounds met his ears. Surprisingly though, the noise didn't last half as long as Ryou expected it would. Instead, after the initial crashing was over there were a few minutes of silence, then the sound of Bakura going through the silverware drawer. Curious, Ryou pulled the blanket off his head to listen. Bakura seemed to have found what he was looking for because Ryou heard the drawer close. A few more moments of silence followed. Finally, the strangest sounds yet were heard. A slight 'ping' almost immediately followed by an enraged scream from Bakura.  
Forgetting Bakura's order to stay out, Ryou vaulted over the back of the couch and dashed into the kitchen, nearly falling over several times as a result of the sudden onslaught of dizziness. In the kitchen, he found Bakura sitting on the floor clutching his heavily bleeding hand, his face scrunched up in pain. On the table next to Bakura was a nearly unrecognizable soup can. Sticking out of the top of the can was an alarmingly large bread knife covered in blood.  
Ryou rushed over to Bakura who, seeing Ryou, promptly attempted to stand up but failed miserably due to lack of balance. "Bagura! Are you ok?" Ryou asked worriedly. But when he moved to help Bakura up he was pushed away.  
"I'm fine! It's just a little cut!" the distressed Bakura snapped. After a few more tries he managed to stand up without the use of his hands.  
Ryou followed as Bakura stumbled up the stairs and down the hall to the bathroom. He was about to follow into the bathroom as well, but the door was slammed in his face. The last thing he heard Bakura say was, "Damn stupid soup."  
Sighing, the silver haired hikari trudged back down the stairs and into the kitchen to clean up. With a few hefty tugs, he managed to remove the knife from the can, then washed it and put in the dish drain. After tossing the battered soup into the trash (as is was most likely inedible by now) he went back to the living room and flopped onto the couch.  
By now Ryou had forgotten all about lunch, so he started flipping channels again. About fifteen minutes later he heard the bathroom door open and Bakura stomp down the stairs. His yami sounded like he was in a particularly bad mood, still muttering about evil soup, so Ryou didn't move.  
After that the house was ghostly silent, aside from the constant drone of the television, which is why Ryou was very surprised when someone plunked a bowl of steaming goo down on the table in front of him. Turning around quickly, he discovered Bakura standing there looking extremely proud of himself. Turning back to the bowl, Ryou finally realized that it was soup. Unfortunately, Bakura had neglected to add the water.  
Despite what his best survival instincts were telling him, Ryou began to snicker. Then he giggled. Then great gales of laughter were rocking his slight frame, tears of mirth leaking down his cheeks.  
By now Bakura was very confused. He didn't remember doing anything funny. "What's so funny?" he growled.  
Ryou tried to compose himself. "Bagura, you're supposed to add wader whed you cook soup!"  
"...oh" Bakura's look of pride vanished and, without another word, he plodded up the stairs and into his room, slamming the door behind him.  
Ryou stopped laughing immediately. "Oh I'b sorry! Please come back Bagura!" he cried. No answer. Getting up, he carefully followed his yami. When Ryou reached Bakura's door he hesitated a moment before knocking quietly.  
"Go away," Bakura sounded angry.  
"I'b so sorry, please let me in!" Ryou pleaded.  
Bakura sighed, "It's not locked."  
Ryou opened the door to reveal a scowling Bakura sitting on the bed. "I'b really sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. It was just so funny!" he had to work hard to stifle another fit of giggles.  
Bakura's scowl deepened. "I don't see what was so funny about it. Anybody could have made that mistake."  
"Well no, not if they read the directions," Ryou replied, recovering from his suppressed laughter.  
"Directions?!" Bakura looked outraged. "Since when did soup need directions?"  
"Since people stared condensing it. But really, it's ok. I wasn't hungry anymore anyway, not after you cut your hand on the knife and got blood everywhere." Ryou wrinkled his nose at the disturbing memory that was still fresh in his mind's eye.  
"Well alright, but I think I've had enough of this 'cold'. Will you be recovered soon?"  
Ryou laughed at this. "Well, I think all this laughing has helped my congestion because I can breathe - and talk - normally again. I don't know when I'll be completely recovered, but I'm sure I can take care of myself from now on." Ryou was actually still quite dizzy, but he didn't want another incident like the soup. For his sake as much as Bakura's.  
Bakura looked relieved and even smiled a little. "Good. Well, um, if you need help with anything you can ask me."  
They stood in an awkward silence for a few minutes until Ryou, who's headache was returning, felt like he might collapse at any minute and went back to the living room.  
  
Three days later (  
Ryou had gotten much better and was planning on going back to school the next day. Bakura had actually managed to avoid seriously damaging himself.  
Ryou was currently sitting in a chair in the living room, completely engrossed in a book. He was yanked back to the real world, though, when a peculiar sound reached his ears. Curious, he lowered his book slightly and listened carefully. There it was again! The sound seemed to be coming from upstairs. Following it, Ryou found Bakura having a tremendous sneezing fit.  
"Oh no, you're not getting a cold too are you?" the sweet hikari asked concernedly.  
"No...I...am NOT!" Bakura insisted between sneezes.  
Ryou crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Bakura really was in a sorry state, almost worse than Ryou had been on the first day. "I think you are," he commented before catching Bakura's wrist and dragging him into the living room.  
"Sit there," he commanded, pointing at the couch. Once Bakura was settled, Ryou walked into the kitchen to make some soup. 


End file.
